Week 3 in the books!

I feel like I may have jinxed poor R with my last blog post (when I said the first half of the week is hardest for him, compared to the latter half) because Friday was an absolute nightmare for him. He received more "gigs" (the penalty system at the academy, for when you don't follow a rule) which means he's lost more Wednesday liberty down the line. It'll probably be a solid month before I see R on a Wednesday.

He came home upset about how Friday went down and this past week was rougher for him than the previous 2. Not sure if it was the homesickness or unwanted attention he's receiving but R came home more dejected and defeated than usual.

I look back on some of the concerns and worries I had prior to R going into the academy and I was way off the mark. I didn't think I was emotionally capable of going through the everyday motions without contact with R and now I know I can, which gives me new confidence in myself. I was also worried that R would be so busy working and enjoying the academy (or that his personality would be changing), that maybe we wouldn't connect the way we used to, which is also completely wrong. I feel like this has strengthened our marriage. He's learning to lean on me in ways I never imagined he would have to and I'm able to be that pillar for him. Bottom line is that for me, it's much easier than I imagined and for R, it's much harder than we could have ever dreamed.

But I'm also so much more sure that this is the right path for R. Being a CHP officer is what he's meant to do. Every night, I hear his tired voice and listen patiently to his struggles but I don't let him slide so far down the negative path that he can't climb out. This is the hardest thing he's ever had to do. It's mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting on him everyday for 12-15 hours a day. But I won't let him give up, and I know he won't either. Feel free to shoot him a text and tell him to keep pushing too.

Bad week aside, we had a wonderful weekend. He's dropped SO much weight already, and it's evident in his face and his arms. I think by the end of the academy, he will have easily lost 60-70 lbs. We did his laundry, ran some errands and studied for his Monday EVOC test. I'm hoping they get to do some EVOC driving this week because I know that will boost R's morale up. We also talked a lot about perspective, and how R would try to be more positive throughout the week. He said, "Well if I'm going to be there anyways, I might as well try to enjoy it," which I commended him for. I told him that every morning he gets up, he should celebrate the fact that he's still there and still pushing through. His dedication to staying there is an achievement and he should feel that way about it.

Sorry I don't have more updates than that. The best update is that he went back to the academy last night to push through another week and that's enough for now.

Week 3 in the books, here's to hoping week 4 is a better one!