Week 4 in the books!

Sorry for the lack of posts last week but in essence, that was a good thing. Week 4 was by far R's best week, which meant no "gigs" and nothing remarkably terrible to report. Here's a few tidbits from the week though:

• They started driving in EVOC (mostly the re-treads, aka cadets who have been in the academy before) and some of them have already passed skidpan!
• He had another Wednesday restriction this past week but we're hoping this week will be his last one and next next Wednesday, he'll get to come home for dinner. 
• R has not started driving yet but says he's likely to do vehicle placement this week.
• The Commissioner came and talked to the cadets on Friday, which R enjoyed. He said he seemed very nice and that he reiterated the fact that all the CHP officers before them have been in their shoes.
• The seniors cadets graduate mid-October so they're nearly done. Congrats CTC II-14!
• R has lost 28 lbs so far.
• He talks a lot about the camaraderie at the academy and how supportive all the cadets are. R struggles in the physical activities and his fellow cadets are always encouraging and uplifting him.
• They're focusing on baton work in PMA and he was demonstrating some of the new moves they were learning.
• With the end of week 4, we are 1 month down and 5 more to go. :)

Like I said, R was in much better shape coming home this weekend than he was the past 3 weekends. This was also the first weekend we went out and saw people again, as opposed to staying in. We've gotten into the swing of things which means we can spend more time together and less time prepping all weekend, which is really nice. 

Can you believe we're starting week 5?!

Week 3 in the books!

I feel like I may have jinxed poor R with my last blog post (when I said the first half of the week is hardest for him, compared to the latter half) because Friday was an absolute nightmare for him. He received more "gigs" (the penalty system at the academy, for when you don't follow a rule) which means he's lost more Wednesday liberty down the line. It'll probably be a solid month before I see R on a Wednesday.

He came home upset about how Friday went down and this past week was rougher for him than the previous 2. Not sure if it was the homesickness or unwanted attention he's receiving but R came home more dejected and defeated than usual.

I look back on some of the concerns and worries I had prior to R going into the academy and I was way off the mark. I didn't think I was emotionally capable of going through the everyday motions without contact with R and now I know I can, which gives me new confidence in myself. I was also worried that R would be so busy working and enjoying the academy (or that his personality would be changing), that maybe we wouldn't connect the way we used to, which is also completely wrong. I feel like this has strengthened our marriage. He's learning to lean on me in ways I never imagined he would have to and I'm able to be that pillar for him. Bottom line is that for me, it's much easier than I imagined and for R, it's much harder than we could have ever dreamed.

But I'm also so much more sure that this is the right path for R. Being a CHP officer is what he's meant to do. Every night, I hear his tired voice and listen patiently to his struggles but I don't let him slide so far down the negative path that he can't climb out. This is the hardest thing he's ever had to do. It's mentally, physically and emotionally exhausting on him everyday for 12-15 hours a day. But I won't let him give up, and I know he won't either. Feel free to shoot him a text and tell him to keep pushing too.

Bad week aside, we had a wonderful weekend. He's dropped SO much weight already, and it's evident in his face and his arms. I think by the end of the academy, he will have easily lost 60-70 lbs. We did his laundry, ran some errands and studied for his Monday EVOC test. I'm hoping they get to do some EVOC driving this week because I know that will boost R's morale up. We also talked a lot about perspective, and how R would try to be more positive throughout the week. He said, "Well if I'm going to be there anyways, I might as well try to enjoy it," which I commended him for. I told him that every morning he gets up, he should celebrate the fact that he's still there and still pushing through. His dedication to staying there is an achievement and he should feel that way about it.

Sorry I don't have more updates than that. The best update is that he went back to the academy last night to push through another week and that's enough for now.

Week 3 in the books, here's to hoping week 4 is a better one!

Day 18 of 186 (Week 3)

It is crazy how a week can feel like it's moving simultaneously fast and slow. Some days seemed to drag on (for R especially), but I can't believe it's Friday already!

The latter half of the week always seems more tolerable for R especially as we get closer to Friday. Wednesday night was a bit rough, considering he would have had Wednesday liberty but R and a good number of cadets were unable to partake (part of that unwanted attention he received last week). They were given written work to do on Wednesday night, instead of having a chance to eat dinner off campus so needless to say Wednesday was not his favorite. 

Here's a few updates I've gotten from Wednesday and Thursday of Week 3:

• On top of getting to experience skidpan, they had a chance to be in the car on the EVOC track doing high speed. He said the instructors didn't go full speed but probably a good 100 mph which all of the cadets loved. It was the highlight of the week.
• After a pep talk we had this weekend, he improved on his run time! :)
• The cadets have started baton work.
• This is the weekend that the Senior cadets get to do ride alongs at their new field offices.  
• Which also means today (Friday) is the first day that the junior cadets are at the academy solo... R said was going to be interesting. He spent extra time perfecting this uniform last night.
• To end on a good note, he was approached yesterday with a knowledge question and he knew the right answer. 

There were definitely a few moments this week I had to really up the encouragement levels to lift R up. I think week 3 and week 4 are probably among the hardest because they're finally settling into the routine and the novelty adrenaline has probably worn off, but they also haven't been doing it long enough for their bodies to completely adjust. I told him by this time next week, he will have been in the academy for nearly a month (26 days) so his body will likely be adapted to the lack of sleep by then. He did say he was already starting to wake up before his alarm so that's a good sign. I try my best to look on the bright side for him, when I know it's hard for him to see it. 

He seemed more relaxed on the phone in the evenings, and I enjoy hearing the fun banter between him and his roommates. Apparently he gets made fun of for saying the world "hella" on the phone with me (which historically is a Northern California-specific word of emphasis, that people from SoCal always make fun of) and for not remembering the 80s (being too young). His roommates are the closest cadets R is friends with at the academy, so I enjoy hearing that they get some time to laugh together.  

Can't wait to see him tonight! Can't believe we're another week down..

Day 16 of 186 (Week 3)

It's hard to believe we're already halfway through Week 3!

So based on what I know so far, it seems like Mondays are the hardest days for R. I think a lot of it has to do with readjusting from the weekend and the fact they always have PT (Physical Training) on Mondays. I've told R repeatedly that if he feels like he needs to stay at the academy on the weekends that he should but he gives me this look of absolute horror and always says, "I need the weekends too, trust me." 

R said Monday was a physically exhausting day for him but the good news is he called around 1950 so at least they seemed to finish up earlier that day. When R called last night (Tuesday), he sounded much more upbeat and he said it was a good day. I got a few small updates from the last few days to share here:

• On Monday they started EVOC and all the cadets got to ride in a car to experience skidpan. R said all the cadets had huge smiles on their faces when they stepped out of the cars.
• R won't have Wednesday liberty this week but he's feeling okay about it since he already knew he wouldn't. 
• They had two PMA (Physical Methods of Arrest) sessions yesterday.
• R says his favorite thing about the academy is the camaraderie the cadets have with each other. They really feel like they're all in this together (versus competing with each other), and he enjoys that.

Week 2 in the books!

R got home on Friday around 1800 hours and he was SO glad to be home. I asked him if he thought this week was harder than week 1 and he said it was, in some ways. He's happy to know what to expect (for the most part) and the anxiousness of not knowing what is to come is gone. But he said even having that knowledge doesn't necessarily make the academy any easier. If anything it's potentially harder because they are now expected to know more of the rules. Here are some tidbits I can share with you:

• He's passed all his tests so far. :)
• They've been given their belts (with the baton, so now that requires polishing too).
• They do PT 3 days a week now.
• He said classroom time is his favorite so far.
• He really likes the academy classroom instructors.
• They start EVOC classroom training this week (Emergency Vehicles Operations Course) which R is excited about.

Day 10 of 186 (Week 2)

Tuesday was fairly uneventful at the academy, which is a good thing. R said it was much better than Monday, luckily.

On top of that, we were pleasantly surprised that Wednesday night liberty (liberty meaning they get to leave the academy) started this week! So last night, I got to have dinner with R and his two roommates. They were such nice guys. One of them is from San Diego, while the other one is from (I think) Atascadero. We talked about their hometowns and hopes for after the academy. They're both older than R (in their 30s) and have 2 kids. They're really nice guys and I felt a lot of relief knowing R was in good hands at the academy too.

After dinner, R came back to see the puppies with me before heading back and I made sure to ask him for some details to share on the blog:

• R forgot a rule while walking around the academy, so he gained a little bit of unwanted attention.
• He was also assigned a "job" that involves rounding things up from the other cadets.
• They have a spelling test tomorrow.
• Training table started today, and most of the cadets are on it.
• That means they need to record everything they eat Monday-Friday and submit it to the staff. 
• The senior cadet class received their assignments this week! :)
• Their PT schedule this week is Mon, Wed, Fri. 

Day 8 of 186 (Week 2)

I felt a little guilty we had the day off yesterday (Labor day) while R had his first day back at the academy. I thought of him especially in the morning since they had PT at 445.

I spent most of the day lounging around at home in Elk Grove with my family.

I heard from R around 2024 and he sounded somewhat upset. Turns out one of the shirts we did on Sunday was incorrect (an honest mistake, one detail of the shirt was wrong). He received his first penalty and was pretty disappointed. I reassured him that we would learn from our mistakes (we'll check in more often with the other cadets) and that mistakes are bound to happen. Besides learning from it, the only thing he can really do is to continue to commit 100% to this process. Tomorrow is another chance to prove to himself and do his best.

Week 1 in the books!

R came home on Friday afternoon somewhere around 1800 for a little over 48 glorious hours. I spent all Thursday and Friday cleaning up the apartment and getting dinner ready for his first meal home (homemade chicken breast nuggets, my healthy answer to his childhood obsession with fast food). He was so excited to tell me about how his week went and it was so nice to finally get face to face conversation.

• First off, he shaved his mustache! For the first time in his life!
• They had their first classroom test on Friday (R said he felt like he did well) 
• They also had their first run on Friday (R said he could have done better)
• R sweats so much, he's been recommended to wear 3 undershirts.
• He noticed how foreign it felt to drive home from the academy on Friday, since they don't drive all week.
• He also said he knew some cadets flew home or even drove home all the way to San Diego. 
• All the cadets are called by their last name
• Both of his roommates are nice and have 2 kids each. (Kudos to any of the families who go through this with children, I seriously tip my hats to you.) They were texting each other during liberty, which I thought was sweet. 
• He said one of the things that gets him through the week is when the officers say, "This isn't the job, this is just training for the job," to keep them from giving up.
• He said by far, the best way to reach him is via text message. He has difficulty checking voicemails or doing any form of social media until the weekend, but texts he can usually read that night.